5 Year Anniversary

At my cousin's wedding back in November, she told me they were going to Disneyland for their honeymoon. I turned to Brian and said, "We should go to Disneyland for our anniversary!" As he did multiple times during this pregnancy, he just looked at me and waited. After a few moments I realized that I was due two days after our anniversary. So besides the fact that I couldn't fly there (no airline would even think about it) and I wouldn't want to spend 16 hours in a car to drive there, I wouldn't be able to go on any rides when we got there & I would be way far from home if the baby started to come. Hence, the plan for Disneyland went out the window.

Because I am 9 months pregnant for our anniversary, it was really low key. Brian had to work, but he came home and took me to dinner at Olive Garden. He offered to take me to a movie after, but I was so tired and uncomfortable, we settled on just going home and cuddling instead. Though we did stop at the store and he got me some Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

Even though we didn't do anything big to celebrate, I'm still so grateful for the wonderful man that I married. He is so good to me. He's been so supportive and helpful during this pregnancy. He takes such good care of me. I know he'll be a great dad and I'm so excited to see it.

22 Weeks

22 Weeks

Well, there you go. I hope my sister Nat appreciates these pictures, because they're mostly for her because she's not around to see me get all big and round. And as I get bigger I get less inclined to want to post these. But I love you Nat.

In other news, I have failed at NaNoWriMo. I had a good couple days, but then I needed a night of Brian just rubbing my belly and then there was a wedding and then I just gave up. Maybe next year I'll try again.

Also, a couple weeks ago, Brian started feeling the baby move! Last night we were laying in bed and he was just talking about architecture stuff and the baby started kicking. He thinks it's a sign, but I think it's mostly that the baby likes Brian's voice. I can't argue with that. I often fall asleep to Brian talking (in a good way.)

We're still struggling to find a name. It's really hard. I want to find something that none of our cousins have, or have used for their kids. That's a lot of names. And then there's the problem of finding something that doesn't make our parents go, "eh". I've decided to stop telling our parents any of the names until we know what we want, and then they have to like it. :)

And I know it shouldn't matter, but I don't want people to think our name is weird, or that we're going for some theme (because we already know what we want to name a girl someday). I guess I'll just have to get some thicker skin.

It's Thanksgiving next week! So excited. And then I get to decorate for Christmas! Yay!

Again: Any suggestions for names are welcome. :)

A few things to note

* Today marks halfway thru this pregnancy!
I'm feeling pretty good. I can't believe it has flown by so fast. I feel this little guy move All The Time. And he's already a strong kicker. We will see if he doesn't just kick right thru my belly by the end.

20 Weeks

* Happy Halloween!
I thought of a few good costumes but then lacked the energy to actually make them.
Let's just say my costume is Half-Baked. Cuz I'm 20 weeks.

* NaNoWriMo begins tomorrow.
Some of you may remember when I wrote 50,000 words in 30 days. I'm attempting to do it again in November. I will be joining a large group of people already involved in this project.
So if I'm MIA that is why.

* I wrote this whole post from my phone. Including the picture. I'm so proud of myself. It also means I have one less excuse to not blog.

My Baby Brought My Laugh Back

In high school, back when life was easier & I had less to worry about, I was known for my laugh.

It was loud & happy & maybe a even a little annoying. But it was mine. Unique. Resonating. Contagious.

I was proud of my laugh. I knew you could hear it from way down the hall. But I figured it was a good thing, because maybe it put a smile on someones face.

But life doesn't stay easy like high school. Life can get hard, real fast.

At 21, I lost that laugh. I even lost my smile.

I could still fake it & make people think I was fine. But the smile never reached my eyes and the laugh never came from my gut. Only those closest were able to see that.

Then Brian came back into my life. And he brought my real smile that lit up my face and reached all the way to my eyes. And he even brought back my laugh. But it didn't come as easily as in high school. And it wasn't as common.

I figured this is just the way life goes. You grow up & stop being loud & obnoxious. And I was so happy. So I didn't miss that old laugh.

Then I lost my first baby. And my laugh and smile faded a little bit. Even though I found the healing I needed, I never found a way to bring my laugh back to what it once was.

And then this baby came. And I screamed and cried for joy. And I could hardly keep it in because I wanted to shout to the world.

And I started to notice my laugh again.

I noticed that it not only reaches my eyes, but it comes from all the way down in my gut.

Like my baby is laughing with me & wants me to be as happy as I can possibly be.

So this is for you Baby Boy.

This is to all the laughs I plan to have with you for the rest of my life.

Thank you for choosing to come to our family.

Thank you for bringing my laugh back.

~~

In case you didn't catch that:

IT'S A BOY!!!

St. George 2011

This year for Fall Break.... oh wait. We don't have Fall Break anymore because.... we're not in school!!! Wahoo!

Actually, we did end up going down to St. George over Fall Break anyway. We were hoping that Brian's cousin and his wife (who is also pregnant, & due 5 days before me) could come with us. Sadly, they could not. Brian & I still had fun without them.

Brian got in a few bike rides, which always makes him happy.

I just got to relax and do absolutely nothing, which makes me happy too.

And we did some shopping, which usually makes us both happy. This year was a little different.

I am about 17 1/2 weeks along. Not showing a ton to those who don't see me without clothes on. (Meaning: Everyone besides myself and Brian.)

But to me, I am starting to show. I'm at that in between point where if you don't know me you think I normally look like this, but if you know me (and look really hard) you can tell something's different. But I just want to show enough that people know I'm pregnant.

Maybe it's only a first time mom thing. So here's my advice to first time moms:
If you don't feel like you look pregnant enough, go shopping.

I was just looking for some longer shirts, and yes, some maternity pants for work. This shopping trip didn't last very long (and not just because I was too tired to keep going.)

Nothing fits like it used to! (Obviously) I'm wearing sizes I don't usually wear! (Obviously)

I was not prepared. But it definitely helped me feel pregnant.

We ended the shopping trip by getting an "Apple Pie" caramel apple from the chocolate store. Totally made me feel better.

The other thing that makes it totally worth it to almost start crying in Target because you're wearing maternity pants:

At 17 weeks, I started to feel my baby move.

Kicking, all the time.

This is definitely Brian's child. They never hold still for long.

Listless

list·less/ˈlis(t)lis/

Adjective: (of a person or their manner) Lacking energy or enthusiasm: "bouts of listless depression".

 

I put this definition here because when I told Brian the other day that I felt "listless" he asked if that meant "without lists". And then I laughed. And that is why I married him.

 

But lately I have been feeling very listless. I have no energy to do anything. I don't want to go to work. I just want to stay in bed all day. (Yes, that song is my theme song recently.)

 

I think part of it is the heat. I just want Fall to come. I want to wear sweaters and smell that cool fresh air. I want to eat pumpkin pie and drive around with the windows down. I want to get in my car and not burn my hands on the steering wheel.

 

At the same time, I want to go to St. George. I know that these two statements totally contradict each other. But I want to go when it cools down a little. I want to relax and go shopping and enjoy the nostalgia I have down there.

 

But it's still August. And it's Utah. So it's going to stay hot for a while.

 

And my sister doesn't live in St. George anymore. Even though I can still go down, and probably still will, it won't be quite the same because there's no one down there for me to hang out with and to help me be crafty because I'm just not that good at it.

 

And so I'm back to listless. Maybe if I made some lists I actually would feel better. It's worked in the past. :)

Recent Happenings

Well Summer is just flying by. Here is a few things we've been up to: (Sorry for the lack of pictures. We just haven't taken any lately.)

• June 24th - Annual Ward Camp out.
• We have only stayed the night once in the 4 years we've been in this ward. That tells you how much I like camping.
• But I love going up for dinner! We have a guy in our ward who makes Award-winning turkeys. For reals. SO GOOD.
• I love our ward. It's always so much fun to go up there and chat with everyone.

• June 25th - Day of Babies
• First I went to the baby blessing of my cousin's little boy. They had it at their house and held a luncheon in the backyard. So fun to see lots of family and to hold that little guy. :)
• I headed straight from that to a baby shower for one of my best friend's growing up. She's due in September and was so surprised to see me. (It was a ward shower and since I'm no longer in that ward.... but then again, neither is she.) Glad I could go and see her.

• June 26th - 30th - BEAR LAKE
• This year we only had 16 people on our fullest day. By the last day there were only 5 of us. But we still had a great time.
• Monday Brian and I went for our annual 10-mile bike ride. I promptly got sunburned and my sit bones were so sore that I couldn't go on any more rides the whole trip. That's what I get for only riding once a year. Brian of course rode another 30 miles after that because he took my brother and two cousins out for rides when we got back. He wasn't even tired.
• We also did Minute-to-Win-it! We only did a few games because there were so few of us, but it was still fun.
• The rest of the time was spent just relaxing, watching movies, chatting with family, and eating. Don't forget the eating.
• While at Bear Lake, Brian received a request from a firm to send more of his work for them to review. This got us very excited! Brain promptly looked up their site and fell in love with them. They would be a really nice place to work for. We haven't heard anything since but we're not giving up yet.

• 4th of July Weekend
• On the 3rd my sister and her husband came into town. No big deal, except my sister now lives in Minnesota! So we were happy to have them.
• On the 4th we slept in. SO NICE! Then we had breakfast with Brian's family and he fixed about 5 bikes.
• Then we went to lunch with my family (Burger King as usual). Then we saw Transformers 3. I'll just say, it was better than the second, but not as good as the first.
• And then we had a BBQ. Walker chicken. If you haven't had it, you don't know good BBQ chicken. End of story.
• The only downside is that we didn't go see any fireworks. Brian and I were pretty bummed. But on the drive home we saw plenty all over the valley. Pretty cool. We'll have to catch them on the 24th.
• On the 5th, we had a Barlow get-together. Some of my cousin's and their families who live in WA & TX were in town, so we all got together to catch up. Lots of food and laughing, and very loud talking, as usual. :)

Something else worth noting: We got a BIG air conditioner! We were talking at the family dinner and mentioned that it's so hot in our apartment because our little unit just can't handle it. Well, my uncle manages a few apartments and he keeps AC units in case his renters want them. He said we could borrow one! So the very next day he brought it over and Brian installed it. HEAVEN! It cools our whole apartment. WONDERFUL! Like my sister said, I couldn't have been a pioneer. It's a struggle for me to survive without air conditioning and electricity.

Last weekend Brian had taken off Friday & Saturday to go to a Father & Sons camp out with his family. But then he decided he didn't want to go camping and he'd rather spend the weekend with me! So we got to spend a whole Saturday together, which I don't think has happened our whole marriage (except when we're on vacation). Well, most of the day. Brian still went for a bike ride in the morning, but I spent that time reading, so we each got to do something we love.

We went to lunch with my friend Richard from college and his wife Wendy & their new son Will. Way fun to catch up with them. And the baby was adorable!

Since we met them for lunch at the Gateway, we decided to spend the day shopping. :) Brian bought me some capris, a skirt, and a cute top to match. Then we wandered around and we both got some new sandals. We then spent the better part of an hour sipping large Orange Julius' and people watching. It was so great!

We saw X-Men: First Class using some gift cards I had stored up. I loved it. Not as much as the first, but when is anything as good as the first?

We then grabbed some pizza on the way home and snuggled on the couch to eat it. It was just a really great day.

Date Spot

Brian and I have noticed that sometimes, when we are just out and about, without a real plan, we usually end up at Office Max, sitting in their comfy office chairs, discussing our future home and plans. I don't know why, but it's very relaxing. Probably because Brian can enjoy the thoughts of designing our home, and I am surrounded by paper and pens, which are soothing to me. (Weird, I know.)

So, if you're looking for somewhere to go and just relax, for free, we recommend Office Max.

And then go home and have some orange cream-sicles. So yummy. :)

Side note

This stuff is amazing.

I can't help myself.

I just want to eat it all day long.

Day to Day

Well, after all the excitement of graduation, we have now settled into a routine.

Mine hasn't changed much. I got to work, every day. Whoopdy-do.

Brian works almost every day on his portfolio (almost finished!) and when he's not working on that, he works at the bike shop (or goes on bike rides, since he's been so deprived in the last four years.)

I have started looking online for Architecture jobs and I'm getting really antsy about finding out where we're going.

Brian is feeling less excited about moving because he realizes he's leaving all his biking friends.

He's also afraid we'll move somewhere without any of these to ride on:

I have also started thinking about a business idea that I could do from home. I don't think I'd make much money, and it wouldn't happen until we move probably, but I'm still mulling it around in my head.

Next week we're going to Arizona for Brian's cousin's wedding. I'm excited for the break and for the warmth.

I'm almost finished with this:

So I ordered this, to hopefully help fill the 22 hours of driving we'll be doing:

But I guess I waited too long to order it. Because it's sitting in the UPS Regional Processing Facility, in WEST VALLY CITY.

Do you think if I just wandered in, they'd let me just pick it up? I need it by Sunday.

Brian wants another one of these:

(Disclaimer: This is not the actual bike he wants. I have no idea what it really looks like.)

I told him he has to sell one of his other two bikes first. He thinks this is unfair.

(Not really, he understands my logic, he just doesn't really like it all that much.)

We got our extension request approved by housing. (Good thing, otherwise we'd be moving in 2 weeks.)

Our official move out date is on or before September 15th.

At least that's some kind of plan. :)

It does make it a little more real, which is weird, but happy at the same time.

And so that's our life for now. Exciting, huh?

A Cougar Once Again

Today was my 27th birthday.

Brian got me the movies Tangled and Anastasia.

After church we headed to my parents house for dinner. 

They gave me some cute new shirts and work clothes. 

And we had cheesecake for dessert.

We stopped by the Glad's as well.

They gave me all the ingredients and a mini bundt pan so I can make my own favorite dessert, 

Chili's Molten Chocolate Cake.

Overall, a very good birthday.

Even if it means Brian gets to call me a Cougar for 19 days.

Things that bug me

• People who don't know where they're going on the freeway, which then causes them to swerve over two lanes of traffic to get to their exit.
• The bruises all over my knees from my many falls.
• The fact that I keep falling.
• The smell of these apartments. I don't know where it comes from and I don't know how to get it to leave.
• The fact that I can't seem to keep a simple house plant alive.
• How I can't seem to write more than blurbs of books. I have little ideas all the time, but I can't make them more than the blurbs you'd read on the back of the book. Maybe that should be my job.
• SNOW in APRIL!!!! I know it isn't really unusual in Utah but still. It bugs.

Good thing it's Friday.

Spring Break

For Brian's last Spring Break we headed down to our favorite vacation spot, St. George.

On Thursday Brian and I both got our teeth cleaned by my sister Natalie.

That afternoon Brian went on a bike ride with his cousin Jason.

That night, they weren't home for dinner. Brian called to say that it had gotten dark so they were walking their bikes back to the car.

They didn't get home until 10:00 that night.

And it was then that I found out that they were actually lost. And they wandered around in the almost-dark for hours trying to find their car.

Brian said they spent the whole time praying and almost knelt down together on the trail. And then they found the car.

I'm glad they got home safe.

On Friday we all went to the temple.

We'd never been to the St. George temple so it was fun to go through with my brother, sister, brother-in-law, and grandparents.

We got to see where my parents were sealed and it was a nice way to spend a rainy day.

That evening we did some shopping, which the boys just loved.

Brian actually likes shopping for me. He makes me try on new things and buy stuff I wouldn't usually.

I got some really cute shoes that are a little on the wild side and a fun new purse.

For dinner that night we went to one of those frozen yogurt places. Perfect dinner in my opinion.

Saturday Brian did a ride in the morning and then we went to see Tangled with my sister.

That night we played games with Nat and Adam and some of their friends.

Sunday was perfect weather.

We walked to church and listened to my grandparents speak. They did a good job.

My grandma made us a great dinner and then we headed home.

It was a nice relaxing vacation. I'm sad we had to come home.

But after this year, we can go down whenever we want.

Anniversary #4

I love that everyone celebrates our anniversary by wearing green in honor of our wedding colors. *sarcasm*

Happy St. Patrick's Day/Anniversary!

Today, Brian woke up at 5:30am (which is a time that I cannot function at.)

He has a review tomorrow at school.

He worked at school from 6:00 am to 6:00 pm, staring at his computer screen.

Then he came home, picked me up and took me out to Draper.

We grabbed a fancy Arby's dinner on the way.

And then we spent the night in the temple.

My little brother Brad went through for the first time, and we got to be there.

It was a very special night because my sister Nat and her husband Adam were able to come too.

And even though the temple worker kept looking at Brian funny, because of his bloodshot eyes, it was a lot of fun.

I'm so proud of Brad and the decisions he's making.

And we ended the night with my dad's homemade chocolate shakes that are better than anyone else's, no battle.

And then Brian crashed into bed when we got home.

Very romantic anniversary.

But this is the last year we'll have to "make-up" for our missed anniversary.

One month until Brian's final project is due!

Why I Love Our New Couch

I spent all weekend, tucked in the corner, in my pajamas, with a blanket on my lap, surrounded by my computer, my cross-stitch, the Ensign, and a box of tissues.

I think I used almost the whole box of tissues.

I slept a lot.

I watched a lot of shows.

And it was so comfortable.

I never would've made it if we still had the futon.

On my mind

This seems to be all I can think about lately.



A Disney Cruise.

I spend down time at work researching them.

Contemplating where we could go: The Bahamas (I've been once, Brian hasn't), Mexico, Alaska.

Remembering how fun and relaxing it was.

Thinking how nice it would be to just get away for a while.

And have everything done for us. All we have to do is get there.

And the food. Oh, the food.

I love Disney. It's no secret.

We could probably find a cheaper cruise if we looked really hard.

But I like that the Disney cruises are so family friendly, and I don't have to worry about drunken people, and gambling, and all that.

I just like to relax. And eat. :)

So this is what I do all day. Dream about going.

Anyone want to come with?

I didn't...

This month I didn't...

...clean our bathroom.

...wash the dishes. (Thanks to Brian for doing it so we didn't live in a pile of dirty dishes.)

...go grocery shopping.

...make dinner very often.

...watch as much TV.

...get to hang out and do crafts with Marci.

...post on my blog as often as I planned to. (Like when my brother broke his collar bone, just two months before going into the MTC.)

...get to read ANYTHING for fun!


But this month, I DID...

Write 50,000 words in 30 days!

New Calling

Yesterday Brian and I were released as Ward Mission Co-Leader and Ward Missionary (I was also released as Primary Pianist). But the Bishop didn't give us much of a break. We were also called as Nursery Leaders.

I was a little hesitant about this calling at first, but after the bishop set me apart and gave me a blessing I know that this calling is from God. The bishop gave me a very personal blessing, addressing concerns and issues that I hadn't even discussed with him. It was a huge testimony builder that God knows me and that he communicates directly with bishop's about their congregation members. I cried and the bishop cried and the Spirit was very strong.

Today the bishop sent Brian and I an email reiterating his love for us and expounding on the blessing he'd given me the day before. It made me break down in tears at work (thankfully my boss wasn't here). I love our bishop and really appreciate the concern and love he has for our ward.

After this experience I have decided that I need to focus more on having faith that when we ask, we shall receive. Brian's been telling me for months to be positive and I finally made the connection that being positive is the same thing as having faith. So that's what I'm going to do.

Be Glad & Have Faith.

Rearranging

The other night Brian and I discovered that the only time we really get grumpy at each other is when we're moving.

This stems from the fact that we don't have the same method when moving things.

Actually, we do. We both agree that when you're moving things around or moving apartments, you should clean things out and get rid of things.

But I don't feel that 10:00 at night is the time to do this. So I decided we should just move the furniture and not worry about deep cleaning things.

However this frustrated Brian as he kept finding piles of things that he didn't know why we were keeping. And then he'd come ask me why we were keeping them.

Which frustrated me because I have a tendency to hold on to things just in case we might use them someday. A bad habit I picked up from my mom.

Brian tends to be more like my dad and just wants to throw it away. He even admitted that one day he'll just start throwing stuff away without asking me, which also upset me.

But it was all for a good purpose.

We got a new couch!!

It was a great deal, and we've been wanting a real couch instead of our futon for a while. It's our Valentine's/Anniversary gift to each other. 

It's nice and comfy and we can actually lay down on it together to watch movies. 

So happy!

The wall is a little bare because our hutch and bookshelf used to be there (as can be seen here). Brian's going to take pictures with his fancy camera to fill it up. I'm going to buy a cute shelf so I still have somewhere to put my decorations. :)

We moved everything to the back room so now it looks like this:

Still tiny, but we fit it all in.

Happy Friday!

In a Nutshell

Well January has just flown by. I really don't know where it went. I know it's not over yet, but it is the last week and I don't really know what we've done. Here are the highlights:

• Brian started his last semester! Hooray!!
• We babysat our friends kids. (When I say we, I mean me, because Brian was falling asleep an hour into it. Granted, he was getting sick and we didn't know it yet. But still.)
• I told Brian not to get me sick because he was leaving for New York and then I would be sick and home alone.
• He didn't listen.
• For Martin Luther King Day I went and got my eye's examined. Fun huh? But I'm getting some new frames, so that's fun for me.
• We went to dinner with my best friend and her husband and two kids. So fun.
• Brian's taking a photography class so he convinced me to let him get a new camera. A fancy camera.
• Brian left for New York Wednesday at 10:00 PM.
• I proceeded to not go to bed before midnight each night he was gone. Not a good plan when you're sick.
• Had a fun night hanging out with my family while Brian was in gone. My sister came into town.
• Did a lot of cross-stitching and catching up on old TV shows.
• Realized I do not eat very healthy when Brian's not around. I just don't feel like it's worth the hassle to make something when half of it won't get eaten.
• Brian came home last night!!!

So yeah, that's pretty much everything we've been up to. I haven't looked at Brian's pictures from his trip yet, but if he took any cool ones I'll be sure to post them. I'm sure they're all of buildings and stuff.

In book news: I am behind. Shocker. I hoped to catch up while Brian was gone, but then I wasn't feeling great. Excuses I know, but still. Hopefully I can catch up this week.

January is just a blah month, as so many people have already pointed out.